I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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