you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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