He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
