you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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