thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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