How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
