I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
