Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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