Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize