I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
