I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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