we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
