how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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