It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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