is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
