Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
