Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
