When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
