took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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