I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
