Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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