Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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