I think I died a long time ago.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
