Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
