Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
