is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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