Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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