youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
