hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
