Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
