Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
