Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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