My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
