Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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