it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
