2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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