Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
