My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
