Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize