# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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