She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My life is pants optional.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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