I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
