OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think my moral compass just broke
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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