Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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