Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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