We won't sleep together?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Someone signed my nipple.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize