i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize