dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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