Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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