somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
