If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
