Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize