you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
