Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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