ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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