I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize