I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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