I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
