guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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