the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
