how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
