porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
