Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
