is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
