And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
